A Better Way to Disagree

Paul’s letters to the church are so important for us to read as the church today. There are so many lessons in the words he wrote to the early church that still apply to us today. In 1 Corinthians 8, Paul was addressing arguments within the church over what kinds of food were okay or not okay to eat. They were caught up in the details—but Paul noticed the root issue. The solution to the problem wasn’t found in who was right or wrong. Instead, it was found in keeping a posture of love toward one another, staying true to their personal convictions while also being respectful of others who had a different opinion. His opening words in addressing them speak directly to this root issue:

“…while knowledge makes us feel important, it is love that strengthens the church.” 1 Corinthians 8:1 NLT

If you’re a believer in Jesus, it’s only a matter of time before, through involvement in the church, you begin to realize that we aren’t going to agree on all the small details all of the time. Jesus knew this, and unity mattered so much to Him that He prayed a specific prayer—not just for His disciples, but for all of us today:

““I am praying not only for these disciples but also for all who will ever believe in me through their message… May they experience such perfect unity that the world will know that you sent me and that you love them as much as you love me.” John 17:20, 23 NLT

Perfect unity doesn’t mean we are going to always agree on everything. Even the most unified people will disagree on something. Let’s look at marriage as an example. Matt and I agree on a lot of things. One small thing we don’t agree on is a love for cheesecake. Matt thinks it’s disgusting because it has the word “cheese” in it—I think that’s pretty crazy. But if we’re going to a restaurant with the intention of splitting a large dessert, I’m not going to choose cheesecake. I defer to him out of love. We make a unified decision and move on.

(And honestly, in a turn of events in my mid-30s, my body can’t tolerate gluten and dairy anymore, so most restaurant desserts aren’t an option for me. To give an even better example of preferring the other person—Matt often skips dessert altogether when he’s with me. It’s really sweet, and I tell him he doesn’t have to. I don’t want him to miss out. But when he does, his motive is kindness and love toward me.)

While the early church’s food issues were deeper than that and had to do with the conviction of whether or not to follow Old Testament rules regarding food offered to idols, Paul’s solution was very similar: if you feel convicted about it, don’t do it. If you don’t feel convicted, be mindful of those who do and respect their convictions when you’re around them.

It’s important to notice that this was not a sin issue. The moral laws written in the Old Testament stand for all time. They address things like murder, adultery, theft, and much more. Ceremonial laws, like animal sacrifices and dietary restrictions, were fulfilled through Jesus’ death on the cross. This brought the Gentiles—who did not follow traditional Jewish laws—into the family of God, bringing unity across people groups, with belief in Jesus as Lord at the center.

And that is what is so amazing about the family of God. We may have cultural differences or even differences of opinion within denominations, but our shared belief that Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life—and that everything in His Word is true—unites us as one. It’s important that we love and respect our brothers and sisters in Christ, even when we don’t see eye to eye.

Have you been out of unity with someone in the Church? Does anyone come to mind as you read this today? Let’s read 1 Corinthians 13:4–8, which describes the character of love, and take a moment to prayerfully ask the Holy Spirit to reveal if there is someone we need to forgive and love:

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a NIV

As we go through our day-to-day interactions with others, may our love and respect for our brothers and sisters in Christ bring such unity that outsiders would see how we handle disagreements and recognize our connection to Jesus.

“By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:35 NIV