Correction or Criticism?

We live in a world where, thanks to so much of our lives being lived online, we hear an opposing opinion for almost everything we see. Content created with good intentions gets picked apart online daily. People often assume things about the person who created it—their motives, their financial status, etc.—picking the person apart piece by piece. Let’s take it a step further—the comments themselves get picked apart, too! Have an opinion? Rest assured, the opposite will be argued if you share that opinion online.

While people often aren’t as brave to express their unfiltered criticisms and assumptions about others face to face, these things do slip out from time to time. While online criticism is certainly new, there is truly “nothing new under the sun,” and there are Biblical examples we can look to in understanding criticism and how to navigate it. A great example of this is the story of Mary pouring her costly perfume onto Jesus’ feet and wiping them with her hair. This was an act of extravagant love—done boldly in front of an audience—that probably seemed a little bit crazy to most of the onlookers. Let’s look at Judas’ bold, public response:

“But Judas Iscariot, the disciple who would soon betray him, said, ‘That perfume was worth a year’s wages. It should have been sold and the money given to the poor.’ Not that he cared for the poor—he was a thief, and since he was in charge of the disciples’ money, he often stole some for himself.” John 12:4-6 NLT

We can learn so much from Judas’ criticism. Judas saw Mary’s act of love as a waste, and he voiced that quickly. Here are some takeaways we can observe when someone’s criticisms are out of place so that we can discern the difference in our own lives.

First, this passage brings to light the fact that when someone criticizes us with wrong motives, their accusation is often, strangely, a mirror of what is happening in their own lives. Judas implied that Mary’s behavior was selfish and that she could have used that expensive perfume to give money to the poor instead. The reality was that he was the one being selfish. As the treasurer, that money “she should have donated” would have come to him first—and he would have stolen some of it. He should have been giving money to the poor, but he wasn’t. He was guilty of the very thing he was accusing her of doing. When examining whether or not someone’s accusation toward you has any valid weight, it is important to consider the character and behavior of the person it’s coming from.

Secondly, it’s important to notice that Judas’ accusation didn’t stop Mary from doing what she did. Whether or not Mary was aware that Judas was a thief, she was confident that she was doing exactly what she was supposed to be doing for Jesus, and she didn’t allow anyone to rob her of this. Eyes only on Him. The rest simply falls off. Mary didn’t have to defend herself or prove Judas wrong. She simply kept doing what she already knew was right.

Here’s the thing, though—sometimes, we aren’t always going to be right. Sometimes in life, we all need a bit of correction to guide us back onto the right path. It’s wise to ignore improper criticism, but how can we tell when what we are hearing is actually correction meant for our good and growth?

Let’s look at the only person who has never made any mistakes—Jesus. He lovingly guided Peter back into ministry after he denied Jesus three times. Peter certainly needed some redirection, and this first conversation had to be uncomfortable for him. In John 21, we find Jesus asking Peter three times, “Do you love me?” with a follow-up request to feed and care for His “sheep.”

Jesus had every right to shame Peter. He could have said something like, “How could you abandon me like this? You’ll never be fit to be my disciple.” Instead, Jesus found Peter going back to fishing, the only other thing he knew, and lovingly guided him back into the beautiful call and purpose He had for his life—to “fish for people.”

Jesus was gentle. I recently saw a psychologist share that Jesus used a technique called “exposure therapy” that is used with many patients today—meeting Peter at the same time of day as his denial, in a similar location, by a fire, and giving him the opportunity to say “I love you” three times, the same number of times Peter had denied Him. This new memory had the power to overwrite the old one and give it new meaning. What a beautiful observation—that our Creator heals and rewrites every bit of brokenness and shame, gently guiding us back on track with undeserved forgiveness and love. What a beautiful picture of the kind of correction we should follow.

As we observe these two stories today, may we remember the difference between unjust criticism and Christlike correction, casting aside any hurtful words meant to rob us while discerning and embracing the Godly redirection that draws us closer to Jesus.